Drink More Glug
Did you know that of all the soft drinks in America, only Glug is made with hydrogen? It’s true. Our scientists have found a way to infuse a delightfully sweet beverage with pure hydrogen gas. As you may know, hydrogen is the element with only one proton. The health benefits of hydrogen are now available to you in an irresistible soft drink flavored with simulated essences of strawberry, lemon, and cola nut. Drink Glug, the only beverage scientifically proven to reduce weight!
My name is Prescott Enridge. Long-time listeners of this radio station will know me from the evening comedy series Laugh Me a River and my guest appearances on Gloomy Dark, the popular program of fright and terror. I am here to tell you about the remarkable advantages of Glug, the soft drink made with hydrogen.
The last time you bought an ordinary soft drink, did you pause to imagine the provenance of its ingredients? You surely knew that it was made in great part of water. But was that water drawn from a fresh mountain spring, like the water that goes into Glug? Were the flavors and colors, like Glug’s, synthesized from costly chemicals in a government-certified laboratory? Was the sugar refined from beets tended by honest Nebraska farmers and harvested by union-made steel equipment? When you’re drinking Glug, the answer is always yes.
Most importantly, have you considered the bubbles rising through an ordinary soft drink? They may look light and airy, and they may delight your tongue with a tingling action. But did you know, my friends, that those bubbles are made of carbon dioxide? Carbon dioxide, the same stuff breathed out by rats, snakes, cockroaches, slugs, and earwigs.
If you are unnerved by what you have just learned, then try a bottle of Glug. Glug is the delicious, healthful drink that contains no heavy gas. You see, the bubbles in Glug are made of hydrogen, the same element found in the core of the life-giving sun. Unlike molecular gases such as carbon dioxide and mustard gas, hydrogen is made of only one kind of atom. Hydrogen is the lightest element of all. It is much lighter than air. It will give you a welcome lift. Are you a few pounds overweight? Let hydrogen lighten the load!
Drink Glug, the soft drink made with good, pure hydrogen gas. When you’re at the grocery store, look for it stacked under the ceiling. Pull down a case of Glug and drink to your health. Let Glug carry you away!
